EMPIRE JEOPARDY "RED CLOAK FOR BREAKFAST"
Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:14:57
YERRY: I’m Yerry Jerow, the host of America’s world class Web game-EMPIRE JEOPARDY. This is the show that winds you up as the American Century winds down.
SFX: CROWD CHEERS
YERRY: Today’s contestants. He’s a Vertical Urban Farmer from Battered Washington. Meet Jack Browndart. How’s it goin’, Jack?
JACK: It’s growin’, Mr. Jerow. Up and up and up.
YERRY: He’s the Commander of Former Intelligence at SINQCOM DREDSENT AFPAK in Hintville, Arkansas. Meet Lt. Col Buddah Brownschweig. Colonel, what is SINQCOM DREDSENT AFPAK?
BUDDAH: I wasn’t in long enough to find out, Yerry.
YERRY: She’s a Loan Denier for Windjammer-Gorgol in Jockeyshorts, Illinois. Meet Swindeloo Zimmer. Working hard, Swindeloo?
SWINDELOO: Saying “no” is becoming a real growth business, Mr. Jerrow.
YERRY: The rules are as simple as our contestants. Win two and we talk. Lose two and you walk. Tie and you try again next time. Here we go. “Two hundred and twenty-one million nine hundred and forty-three thousand, five hundred and sixty-seven.”
SWINDELOO: What’s a number large enough to confuse people?
SFX: “WRONG!” BUZZER
BUDDAH: What is the cost of a B-1 stealth fuselage?
SFX: “ WRONG!” BUZZER
JACK: What is the number of barrels of crude oil the BP well has spilled into the Gulf as off an hour ago.
SFX: “RIGHT!” BELL
YERRY: One for you, Jack. I see you stay on top of things. Here we go again. “Hiding billions of dollars of debt by not selling what you don’t want until you get it back.”
SWINDELOO: What is “window dressing?”
SFX: “RIGHT!” BELL
YERRY: That was fast, Swindeloo.
SWINDELOO: Easy. I used to date one of the Lehman Brothers when I worked at B of A.
YERRY: We’re down to it, now. Swindeloo and Jack, maybe we talk. Buddah Brownschweig, maybe you walk. Here it is. “Red Cloak For Breakfast.”
JACK: What is the latest gluten-free diet?
SFX: “WRONG!” BUZZER
SWINDELOO: What is taking an early meeting with the Cardinal?
SFX: “WRONG!” BUZZER
BUDDAH: What is the Hopi symbol of the Cataclysmic Purification of America?
SFX: “RIGHT!” BELL
YERRY: Bingo!
BUDDAH: We talked about it all the time at SINQCOM.
YERRY: Well, you’ll get to talk some more, Buddah, because you tied it up and you’ll all be back next time on EMPIRE JEOPRADY.
APPLAUSE & THEME OUT.