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GOP-THE CONSTIPATED CROCAGATOR
Fri, 24 Sep 2010 13:47:00

Have you wondered why GOP voters, now a combo of Bushies and Teabaggers are so grumpy and angry all the time?

There's an old saw that might explain it. A tourist traveling through central Louisiana stops at a general store to ask directions. The local behind the counter warns him to be on the lookout for crocagators, because they're the meanest critters around. "What's a crocagator," asks the tourist. "A crocagator," explains the local, " has the head of a crocodile on one end and the head of an alligator on the other." "Really", exclaims the tourist. "How does it take a crap?" "That's why they so mean!" replies the local.

The GOP has morphed into a constipated crocagator, for sure.

On one end they're headed by the Tan Man in the House and Mitch The Bitch in the Senate, who bitterly mourn the passing of the good old days of the Bush coup, and are tasked with little more than saying, "no."

On the other end, they're led by the know-nothing fatheads who yearn for the return of their bulging 401 k's, unlimited home equity and cradle-to-grave jobs. The Bushies mourn and the Teabaggers yearn but the crocagator monster can't take a good political crap.

Deep in its troubled heart, it knows the world it took for granted is slipping away, replaced by a diorama of stable gay families, hard-working immigrants, sustainable off-the-gridders, a super smart, unflappable, Not-Me President and gaggles of over-night celebrities on the red carpet, wearing meat or nothing at all.

The GOP crocagator may wreck havoc in the midterms; but in the long term, it is, to quote another monster, "on the wrong side of history."