Radio Free Oz
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Sat, 30 Oct 2010 16:53:16

I'm on the steps of the Capitol Building with Yves St. Stool, debuting his line of Midterm Moderne accessories, designed for those who will have to suffer the influx of self-righteous right-wing ideologues descending on Washington.

The first piece is his Bible Belt, which continuously streams quotes from the ravings of St. John The Divine. Look into its mirrored buckle and see yourself reflected back as Jesus. A minor holographic trick, but a great self-esteem builder among the fundamentalists in the crowd.

Then, strap on Yves' Horloge Hypoctite. It's more than a watch counting down to 2012, when we'll put this all right. It's a covert GOP gay-dar early warning system, which glows pink and plays selections from The Village People if any Republicans in the room are still in the closet. Yves had Ken Mehlman tagged months before he came out into the Big Tent.

Those who will be mixing it up with the Tea Party will want to slip on Yves' George Washington Tricolor Radio Hat. It blocks all right-wing media signals and lets you listen surreptitiously to Keith and Rachel while the Baggers rant on and on.

And, if you must attend an affair with Sarah Palin, Yves has prepared a secret weapon, Katie C. It's a perfume that contains clones of Katie Courac's pheromones. One whiff totally dumbfounds Mama Grizzly and leaves her speechless.

Thank you, Yves, for giving us the fashions to confound the fascists.

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