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Mon, 06 Sep 2010 19:54:20

As I scan the media preparing for a new show-I call it "trolling the woe"-I am increasingly convinced that five months ago I gave the American people far too much credit for common sense, and thoroughly overrated their ability to recognize their own best self interests and see the bigger picture at the same time.

I figured all those pudgy, white, middle class boobs dressed up as George Washington lite would self-destruct and return to the flat screen reality they left at home.

I failed to factor in The Entitlement Quotient. I didn't calculate the distance from high up on the hog where a whole lot of Americans have been living to the common ground below. What a leap of faith!  You could bust up your unconscious, unsustainable lifestyle taking a jump like that.

So they whine and wimper, why is everything suddenly falling apart? What happened to all our endless home equity. platinum credit and bulging 401 k's? It can't be our fault, we're the heroic 5% of the world's population consuming 25% of the world's resources.

It's a conspiracy-we're victims of the Not-Me. That Not-Me Obama, who's going to build a mosque on the top of the White House and call us all to Health Care. That Not-Me the immigrant, who's out stealing the jobs we won't take. That Not-Me the progressive, who's really Che in Mao's clothing, or Hitler cross dressing as Stalin.

All we have to do is vote everybody out of office, and then wait until somebody gives us back our constitution and our good old way of life.

How dare these half baked couch potatoes usurp the noble brand of the Boston Tea Party! They're not putting their livlihood and personal safety at risk with a brave act of civil disobeience in the face of hostile, occupying troops. They're not up on Bunker Hill trading bullets with the British army. They're nothing more and nothing less than a gaggle of angry drones being joy-sticked by bigots and billionaires.

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